imageWe get asked a lot (and I mean A LOT) about our intentions when it comes to such an early engagement and soon to be marriage. Some are even so bold as to ask if I’m pregnant, oh my! It always seems to shock people when I tell them the opposite is true.

We’re engaged because we want a pure, God centered relationship. True love waits! And we’d rather go through intensive premarital counseling, budgeting, discussions, and get married early, than to draw out a long engagement, have premarital sex, or live together before getting married. Now of course, there are so many more reasons we’re getting married, than sex or tax benefits (lol!), but it is one of the reason why we’ve decided to do so this *early*. Sex is probably less than 2% for the *reason* of our marriage. We want the ability to live together, and to grow together as a couple, something we can’t easily do without getting married & living together. I’ve had some amazing books that have helped me stay pure throughout my high school relationships prior to meeting my future husband!

My favorite? Check out: “Wait for Me” by Rebecca St James, I’ve read this one probably 5 or 6 times, and the study guide that goes with it surprisingly wasn’t cheesy or awkward. I loved it & the guys I dated have read it as well.

Sadly, many people seem to be under the impression that Christians get engaged & married so soon so we can have sex- no, we date with a purpose. We come into relationships to look for the one we’re meant to be with. Not to find a person we can marry so we can get intimate with them. That’s so shallow. We spend so much time getting to know each other, getting to know our future families, and seeing if we’re going to be compatible. Our relationship is based off something bigger than lust or sex. Our engagements just happen to be short in order to ensure a pure relationship before marriage.

I know many people see purity as the elimination of sexual attraction, it’s not! Purity is just controlling your attractions to one another, and channeling it into other parts of your relationship. It makes you learn more about the other person, it draws you both closer to God, and you realize you’re with each other for more than simple lust, you’re there out of love and mutual respect. If sex can exist without love, love can certainly exist without sex!

If you’re interested in saving yourself for marriage, don’t be afraid to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend right from the start. That’s what I did, and if a guy thought I was too straightforward or ‘prudish’, I knew it wasn’t going to work out. Weeding out these types of guys will save you lots of heartache.

Not only does a pure heart protect your heart, but it protects you body too! Abstinence is the only 100% foolproof way of avoiding STDs, STIs, pregnancy (and abortions).

‘Virgin’ isn’t a dirty word. Don’t hesitate to ask me about my journey of abstinence via the comments section or my email (sghamelman@gmail.com). To learn more about saving yourself for marriage, visit m.lifeway.com

As always, thanks for reading!

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